THE REAL PROGRAMMER In the good old days when programming was still a primitive art it was relatively easy to tell the men from the boys: real men didn't eat quiche. In those times only Real Men understood computers, the others (boys and quiche-eaters alike) understood nothing about computers. Real Men went about saying things like "DO 10I=1,10" or "ABEND" (naturally they spoke in upper script, too) while everyone else conceded that computers were far too complicated creatures for them. But, like everything else, times change, and now we live in an age when little old ladies have computers inside their microwaves, a week's shopping can be done via Internet and 12-year-old kids can beat Real Men at any given videogame. Real Programmers are in danger of becoming extinct, making way for students who think computing means a mouse and some icons. At this stage it's important to understand the difference between Real Programmes and Pac Man addicts. If we can paint a clear enough picture these young impressionable students will have their own role model, a spiritual leader to guide them through life. And companies may then realise that it is neither right nor fitting to replace Real Programmers with Pac Man addicts, even if they are cheaper to employ.